The Drunk Apology

Dear Mom,

I miss you. Every card I titled “to the best mom ever” still holds the truth. I’m sorry for the burden that I’ve become. I’m sorry for shutting you out when I know you are only trying to help. The silence building between us is my desperate plea for your attention, for you to actually listen to me. I’m screaming at you through the coughing, the wheezing, and the silent gasps for air. This sickness has taken over me but I still love you.

Dear Family,

I miss you. I’m sorry for holding grudges. I’m sorry I forgot to write. I’m sorry I shut you out when I really just wanted someone to talk to.

Dear Friends,

I miss you. I’m sorry for pressing ignore when I really wanted to press answer. I’m sorry I haven’t been around lately. I’m sorry I’ve missed out on the basketball games, the random parties, and the endless memories that will later become the stories you tell your grand kids. I’m sorry for shutting you out when I desperately wanted you to understand.

Dear teacher(s),

I miss your class. I miss the lectures, the sometimes funny jokes, and the cute boy who sat next to me in class. I miss learning, reading, and leaving class with a new perspective. This is the first year I’ve loved all my classes and it’s all because of you. I just wish I could be there to show you how much class means to me.

Dear Doctor(s),

I still see you every day so I can’t say that I miss you. I’m sorry for wincing as you poke and prick at my skin but I’m tired of feeling like a raggedy anne doll. I’m sick of the alcohol swabs, the blood tests, and the smell of disinfectant.  I’m sick of the endless diagnoses of names I can’t even pronounce.  I’m sorry for being so negative. I know you’re just trying to help but I just want someone to tell me the truth.

Dear God,

I miss you. I’m sorry for the curse words, skipping church, and my bitter attitude. I’m sorry for asking for the same thing every night. I’m sorry for 11-28-13, it won’t happen again.

Dear old me,

I miss you and I think everyone else does too. I hate looking through old photographs and seeing the happy girl in skinny jeans. I miss your laugh, your smile, and your innocence. I miss the adventurous brunette with dreams and a future. I’m sorry I shut you out too.

Dear Lyme's Disease,

Screw you.

90's Kid

In three years from when we graduate it will be the last graduating class to “technically” be born in the 90’s. In just three short years it will be the last generation to grow up on TV shows like Hey Arnold, Fresh Prince of Bell Air, Even Stevens, Saved by the Bell, and Boy meets World. It will be the last generation whose Trix cereal growing up was shaped like fruits and flowers, not spheres. It will be the last generation who cried when their tamagotchi died, who owned a cassette/CD player, and still answered their home phone.  It will be the last generation to understand the difference between Backstreet Boys and One Direction. It will be the last generation who will know that The Little Vampire came before Twilight, that the Goonies might be the best movie of all time, and that Aaron Carter was the Justin Bieber of the 90’s.

Their Disney channel will consist of shows like A.N.T farm, Dog with a Blog, and Shake it up, while ours consisted with shows like Even Stevens, Lizzie McGuire, and Kim Possible. You'd wake up every Saturday to watch cartoons like Power Rangers, Pokémon, and the Flintstones. The generations to come will never understand the importance of the movie SPACE JAM.

Baby bottle pops, bazooka bubble gum, and gushers will be stale. Bubble gum machines, hop scotch, and play dough will seem childish. Half time snacks will no longer consist of kool-aid and a ding dong. They’ll probably try and feed you fruit or something dumb like that since half the nation is obese these days.(exaggeration)

In just three years from when we graduate it will be the last graduating class to “technically” be born in the 90’s, and soon after that we’ll catch ourselves starting all our sentences with “When I was your age…”

Memories will haunt you like a ghost

(and I will try to love you - Haunt, Bastille)

How to annoy your mother

1. Follow her around everywhere.
2. Answer all her questions saying "why?"
3. MOO when she say's your name.
4. Pretend you have amnesia
5. Have 20 imaginary friends that you talk to all the time.
6. Say everything backwards.
7. Try to climb the wall.
8. Go into her room at 4 am and say "Good morning Sunshine." :)
9. Yell "LIAR" at everything she say's.
10. Go into the room she's in and switch the light on and off for a while and yell "Oh, I get it."
11. Tap on her door all night saying "Help me asdgkldft!"
12. When watching T.V with her talk to the commercial guy about your problems.
13. Say that wearing clothes is against your religion.