Irrational thoughts

I’m afraid of silver tooth brushes, 2 lb weights, and Disney princesses. I’m afraid of blue jeans, cut off sleeves, and my mom’s homemade spaghetti. I’m afraid of blondes, window seals, and floral bedding. I’m afraid of playing 4-square, door knobs, and multiple juices mixed into one. I’m afraid of avatars, black & white movies, and books shorter than 98 pages. I’m afraid of Barbie dolls and salted swimming pools. I’m afraid of perfectly chiseled jaws and brown eyes. I’m afraid of captain crunch, maple syrup drippings, and watermelon seeds. I’m afraid of Popsicle sticks, long naps, and wilted roses. I’m afraid of red umbrellas and polka-dotted rain boots. I’m afraid of playing rock paper scissors because I hate paper cuts. I’m afraid of yellow nail polish and pale skin. I’m afraid of my own teddy bear and how Justin Bieber sags his pants. I’m afraid of bleeding the color ORANGE.

Awkward Moments

1. Waving at someone you think you know but actually don't

 

    2. Jamming out to a song with friends but then singing the wrong lyrics

     3. Nirvana meeting Charles Barkley for the first time

    4. Ryan Seacrest trying to high-five a blind guy

    

 5. When you think some random stranger is waving at you when they really aren't

  

    6. Jon Mayer attempting to hug Kanye West

     7. Falling down right in front of the Google maps car

   

  8. Going for the hand shake but ending up just scratching your nose

 

   9. Typing a message then sending it to the wrong person

 10. But there is nothing more awkward than a middle school dance...

Silence holds our WALL

A brick is a domesticated rock. It sits and stares but never talks.

I applaud the silence and wipe my tears while soundless screams fill up my head desperately gasping for air.

I try to drown my demons but someone’s taught them how to swim,

Maybe that’s why she was afraid of love but not afraid of sin.

I hide the pain and strike the match just to watch it burn.

The soundless screams fill up my head seeking to be heard.

I try to make a noise but only Silence fills the air.

I bleed the love I desperately want but no one seems to care

I wipe away my tear stains but they’ve sunk deep into my soul.

Madness living inside my head while poison stings the soul

I guess that’s why she couldn’t love a human but a tree, because human’s change and so will I but a tree will stay concrete.

She runs away from fear of never being loved, but as I crave attention only silence fills my lungs.

So

Applaud,

  

Applaud,

  

Applaud,

  

At the love you never gave.

For a brick is a domestic rock, but you‘ll always be the same.

“Hell is full of Musical Amateurs”

   

 

DINOSAURS and VCRs

Love is like a dinosaur because they are extinct. Love is like a VCR because now a day’s people prefer DVDs.

Take me back to the 50’s where we can share a shake.

Ask me to go steady where you pick me up at six o’clock and drop me off at eight.

I’ll walk seven blocks to the corner store where you work as a cashier. I'll pretend I'm running errands and buy daddy some more beer.

We’ll steal a glance across the table when daddy isn’t near, then you’ll pick me up and spin around just because you care.

I want hand written letters on US sized paper. I want photographs and napkins from our favorite dinner.

I want everyone to look at us and say 
“Damn that’s some kind of love,”

but like dinosaurs and VCRs love like that is gone.

I toss around three simple words because I've never known the meaning. I love you stands for clean up your room, or don’t tell daddy I’m leaving.

I’ll never know what “real” love is unless I post it on twitter. Then maybe ill post some digital photos and the caption will read...

“OMG JUST HAD DINNER WITH MY FAV BOYYYY #truelove #muscles #Ilovelove #hashtag #grapes”

I’ll only care how many likes I get on the photos I post of us, cuz if I don’t get a hundred and one this relationship is done.

I’ll text you “k” and CUSS your name so you know this is true love.

Since now a day’s there’s too many games it’s easier to just hook up.

Let’s pretend that love exists just to give us hope. Deep down I’ll know it will never work and I’ll probably end up alone.

I’ll bury myself in story books and fairy-tales galore, 

because at least in those there is dinosaurs and you can watch them on your VCR.

SINCERELY, grace who's heads stuck in space

Innocently beautiful whose enemy was time

Dear innocent old me,

   I went to the park today like we use to do, but it’s just so different without you. I swung on our swing with the rusty old chains. Do you remember? It’s the blue one, where we carved in our name.

It gets lonely at night without you here. Mommy and daddy are nowhere near. I’m not scared of the monsters under my bed, I’m more afraid of the ones who crawled into my head.

  
 I saw you today so innocent and sweet. I was looking through old photos of us on the beach. We were building a sand castle with daddy and mom. Those were the days when they got along. 

I can’t help but wonder why you left that day. Remember, it was the day I entered seventh grade. I walked into class thinking you were coming along, but when I turned around you were already gone. 

   
How could you, you thief! You left me alone. You took my happiness and bliss in the blink of an eye. You took the crayons, the books, the innocent looks. You took my bedtime stories, goodnight kisses, and my dreams simply died.

  I’m now the innocent girl in her maiden teens, who knows perfectly well what everything means.

  I ran into someone who I think you may know. Her name is adolescence she puts on a show. She’s not as nice as you but she’s still quite fun. We’ve been to dances, parties, but we’ve never gotten drunk.

Mom and dad still fight a lot of the time. Sometimes I can't even sleep at night. Maybe with you I was too young and naive to realize that mom and dad were never meant to be.

  I miss the bliss of being young. You were beautiful and innocent but it just wasn't enough.

R.I.P to my childhood dreams

Love always,
Grace 

Human Skin Can Be Hard To Live In

It’s more than just what defines us as human beings. It’s more than our genetic makeup of our twisted DNA. So how do I know I’m alive? Is it the way most Christians answer their second birth…“Because I was born.” Or must we suffer an unsatisfactory life because that’s the definition of our reality.

Is it by the simplicity in daily life? By the way I have to put lotion on before touching paper. How my toast has to be perfectly crisp on the edges yet soft enough in the middle, topped with strawberry jam. Is it the way I am capable of falling in love with people I’ve never met and places I’ve never been. Is it the feeling I get right after it rains, igniting my passion to dance in the rain?

Am I human, or am I as a trained soldier going into this war called life.  

How ironic that the things we do to feel alive are also the things that can kill us.

I live in a world where “fake” is the new trend; Fake tans, fake nails, fake hair, fake people. We live in a place where some are so homophobic they’d rather see a gay man die than be really alive. If you don’t see the wrong then ignorance is your life. If I am human how do I survive in such a robotic world, where the magazines and TV dictate my human being?

I'm not a Robot and I'm not your clone. You're not a puppeteer and I am not a drone. Got a new master and I follow him alone. I want a good life until I'm gone from here away from this life. All this until I feel completely and utterly alive.